a take on understanding love

I was packed in the far back corner on the side of the bus opposite of where I needed to be. People filled the bus so I could barely see out any window but my own. As we were riding, I was trying to maintain a decent view through the far windows and the heads of the other passengers so that I could quickly knock on the window signifying that I wanted off when I saw the church. I was lucky that someone else had planned to get off at the same spot as me and stopped the bus. When I realized that we had already arrived at my destination, I told my neighbor, who was practically sitting on my left leg, that I needed out. I couldn't understand his confusion, I needed to get out of the bus. For me to successfully step off of the bus I had to wait for about six others to step off first and I couldn't budge the man sitting on top of me. Finally, I was able to squeeze out and make my way to the entrance of the church. I was there to sit in on their worship practice that also served as a Bible Study. Before we started jamming out we got into a discussion about love.

The guy next to me brought up a good question, how do we show love to someone who is hard to love? Beneficial answers quickly surfaced from around the room. This was one: "pray for them and respect their space." Amen. Christ prayed for his persecutors so I think we can pray for the ones that are kind of annoying and respect their annoying space. But as the discussion deepened I finally spoke up my undeveloped thoughts. I believe there is a definite difference between showing love and honest love. In fact, as Christians I believe we are called not just to show love but to truly and honestly love our neighbors. So, maybe the question is not "how do we show love?" but "how can we honestly love?"

It's a hard concept really. We're very used to showing love. We all tend to know how to make a stranger feel welcome or well-liked with friendly smiles, firm handshakes and questions about their lives. But when that relationship gets rocky, do we still respond in true love? In the movie Dan In Real Life the teen boyfriend of the dramatic middle daughter tells the dad that love is not a feeling, it's an ability. That's a very interesting statement that has had me thinking. To me, this is saying that the ability to love is like the ability to do a back flip, you can either do it or you can't. Well, personally, I can't do a back-flip and most people are hard to love. It's easy to love my mom but I think we're talking about a different kind of ability. This ability to love is for everyone else who is considered "your neighbor", the annoying ones as well as the not so much.

I think a lot of times when we see problems with our neighbors it distracts us from our own issues. And therefore, blaming our own inabilities to love on the annoying guy. However, if we look at other peoples' problems in a right way, then the Holy Spirit can actually bring light to our own failures and therefore bring us to our knees in prayer. But not a prayer that is focused on anyone outside of ourselves. Instead, a prayer asking that God will change our own hearts to love or forgive this person no matter what they do or have done. A prayer asking for the ability to love. For if we have love then we will show love. You can show love without having it but you cannot have love without the overwhelming desire to show it.