I hadn't thought to ask Summer if it would be fine if I brought my Chai tea into the Bible Study until we were two steps away from the door. She said it would probably be OK. When I heard her say the word, probably I had a good feeling that this was not the type of community I had expected.
Coming into it with my brand new West Virginian friend on the campus of St. George's University I had anticipated a group of white grad students lounged on some couches discussing their feelings and things like purity and being a Christian in the Grenadian culture. We walked into the classroom-made-pentecostal-sanctuary and immediately I knew that it was, indeed, not what I had expected.
In fact, entering with a Chai in my hand, it was quickly apparent that I was more accustomed to a "coffee shop" style of worship opposed to their pentecostal lean. We saw two standing, seemingly Grenadian ladies who were praying simultaneously out loud. Summer quickly joined in. I hung out in the back until a friendly face named Janice invited me to also join them in front. I stood there awkwardly as nothing but a skeptic. Then, with my head hung and my eyes giving the impression that I was in a time of deep prayer...I thought. Here is what happened:
I think the new fad is this "coffee shop" style of church. If that is true then obviously I do pretty well at fitting in. I like coffee, I like to be laid back and I don't think I am the only skeptic when it comes to outgoing pentecostal habits. It's true that for many "chill" Christians who like to sip on their coffees during worship, it can be an uncomfortable and possibly bothersome experience to sit through an outgoing pentecostal service. We love to be skeptical. Based on my recent spiritually complacent behavior I then wondered if this is what I was missing.
Fighting past my uncomfortable state I started to quietly pray. I prayed, if these Christians have something that I do not understand that then I too would be blessed with that intimate connection or realization that would cause me to burst out in uncontrollable praise to the Father. Right then, it no longer mattered to me where their hearts were but where mine was. Instead of being a skeptic I became an open mind for the Holy Spirit to come and work. If I was, if I am missing out on something I want to be caught up and caught up quickly.
Eventually, we moved into the discussion. My new friend Janice stepped to the front as the leader. In her British accent, she encouraged the small group to form a tight circle. After minutes of hearing her speak I found that she is not only a woman blessed with a beautiful smile but also of great and respectable wisdom and an ability to share it in a clear manner. She talked about the mind as the battlefield for spiritual warfare and about us, therefore, taking every thought captive in order to obey Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). How true it is that the evil one and the heavenly fight over our mind and soul. Like Hebrews 12 Janice related it to running a race.
If the word runner means "one who runs" then, yes, I have been a runner in my time. However, if the word means "one who is trained to run a marathon" then, please, count me out. I hate running. Either way, through my own experience and through what I've heard about trained runners, mind control is essential to the finishing of a race. I've only run in training for soccer but I know, for me, about half way on a run my mind tells my body to give up. My mind tells me that my legs are going to fall off or, even more dramatic, that I'm going to die a horrible death on the side of the road. But at that time if I take my thoughts captive, I will find control for my mind and finish the race with endurance. Likewise, with purity for example, when my mind tells my body to give up and give in, I must then take that impure thought captive under the power of the Word. I must encourage my mind in the Lord and through His Word. "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." -Gal. 6:9
This is only a glimpse of what I got from tonight's meeting. I feel truly blessed to have the opportunity to become involved in this community and I look forward to joining them again next week.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
did you know i was in grenada?
Did you know I was in Grenada? Or did you forget because the majority of this blog thus far has been consumed with only my thoughts. I do realize that some may read this in order to get updates about my time in Grenada. In a sense, my random thoughts do relate to my trip. That being said, this will be a "my life in Grenada" update.
Last week, I worked with a work team from Nebraska. We worked on the campus of the Berean Christian Academy preparing the way for a cement floor to come in. The school is in pretty bad shape and though we did not make it much more beautiful we did take a step toward beauty. I quite enjoyed getting to know the work team as well as the primary students through out last week.
I have spent time working at my aunt and uncle's bookstore and art gallery. I do very much enjoy it. Also, I've had the chance to work in the primary school substituting for unavailable teachers. Tuesday, I worked with the kindergarten. They're insane. Tomorrow I'll be working with the first grade.
My aunt teaches an art class at Saint George's University. I am her "assistant". Basically, that means I carry her stuff up the stairs and sit in the class as a student. But we don't tell Saint George I am anything but an assistant. I have learned quite a bit about art already through my aunt. She is a professional artist and a great teacher who has never taken a formal art class. She's encouraged me to start a daily sketch journal. So I have. I really believe the biggest improvement in my art that I can make while I'm here is getting back into it. I've also had the opportunity to work with her in her studio. We are preparing for a few shows she has coming up. I have been matting prints and stretching canvases. Both are good things to know and learn.
Tomorrow, I am taking a bus to some place I've never been and meeting my friend Istra. I will be attending a meeting with All 4 Christ, a group of young, Christian Grenadians who are trying to bless the community in the name of Christ. I look forward to being involved with this community.
Friday night, I will be running a soccer clinic with the primary school kids. It will be a great time to hang out with kids and play some futbol.
I am reading Not On Our Watch by Don Cheadle and John Prendergast. It is a dense book about the genocide in Darfur region of Sudan and how anyone can have a part in putting an end to it.
Honestly, there is constantly a lot going on everyday and I cannot condense everything that has happened and is going happen into a simple blog post. I am learning and growing very much so during my time here. I am excited to see what God has instore for me for the last three or four weeks. If you are the praying type, please pray that I will continue to grow in wisdom, discipline and love.
Last week, I worked with a work team from Nebraska. We worked on the campus of the Berean Christian Academy preparing the way for a cement floor to come in. The school is in pretty bad shape and though we did not make it much more beautiful we did take a step toward beauty. I quite enjoyed getting to know the work team as well as the primary students through out last week.
I have spent time working at my aunt and uncle's bookstore and art gallery. I do very much enjoy it. Also, I've had the chance to work in the primary school substituting for unavailable teachers. Tuesday, I worked with the kindergarten. They're insane. Tomorrow I'll be working with the first grade.
My aunt teaches an art class at Saint George's University. I am her "assistant". Basically, that means I carry her stuff up the stairs and sit in the class as a student. But we don't tell Saint George I am anything but an assistant. I have learned quite a bit about art already through my aunt. She is a professional artist and a great teacher who has never taken a formal art class. She's encouraged me to start a daily sketch journal. So I have. I really believe the biggest improvement in my art that I can make while I'm here is getting back into it. I've also had the opportunity to work with her in her studio. We are preparing for a few shows she has coming up. I have been matting prints and stretching canvases. Both are good things to know and learn.
Tomorrow, I am taking a bus to some place I've never been and meeting my friend Istra. I will be attending a meeting with All 4 Christ, a group of young, Christian Grenadians who are trying to bless the community in the name of Christ. I look forward to being involved with this community.
Friday night, I will be running a soccer clinic with the primary school kids. It will be a great time to hang out with kids and play some futbol.
I am reading Not On Our Watch by Don Cheadle and John Prendergast. It is a dense book about the genocide in Darfur region of Sudan and how anyone can have a part in putting an end to it.
Honestly, there is constantly a lot going on everyday and I cannot condense everything that has happened and is going happen into a simple blog post. I am learning and growing very much so during my time here. I am excited to see what God has instore for me for the last three or four weeks. If you are the praying type, please pray that I will continue to grow in wisdom, discipline and love.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
i'm ashamed to admit that...
I knew I was falling.
I knew it would hurt.
But, I enjoyed the breeze I caught on the way down.
Still, I hit the bottom.
And, indeed...it did hurt.
I knew it would hurt.
But, I enjoyed the breeze I caught on the way down.
Still, I hit the bottom.
And, indeed...it did hurt.
Monday, January 26, 2009
deferred? c'mon sugar daddy...
When I found out from my roommates via skype that Moody Bible Institute deferred me the first thing that popped into my head was, deferred? What the crap does that mean? Well, I asked Google and he told me that it meant postponed or hold back to a later time. Apparently it's a good thing to be deferred. By "good thing" I think they mean that it's not necessarily a bad thing because I wasn't denied acceptance but I wasn't approved acceptance yet, I was deferred. I've been praying that God would prepare my heart no matter what the results but I never expected to be...deferred. I turned in my application in time to make the early decision. I waited patiently for January 15 (the date the letters were sent out) then I waited anxiously until January 26 only to find out that I have to wait two more months. Ah. Needless to say that I'm an anxious mess. But as I pray I am reminded of Jesus' words in Matthew 6:25-34:
"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself."
For the longest time I thought that this meant that if I worked hard for God or if I was "poor for Jesus" he'd whip out his wallet and pass out everything I need and more. I would then say, "thanks sugar daddy!" and run off. See, as a culture, we're generally spoiled brats and we're like teenage kids who expect what we want when we want it. But, instead of having a daddy that caters to our materialistic desires we have a Father who says, "Why do you search for answers when I am the answer? Why do you search to be filled when I will overflow your cup? Why do you want more when I am all you need?" Obviously, I didn't understand this then so I got discouraged when my expectations were not met. I was too focused on what I would get out of this "seeking first" deal.
I eventually came to realize that if I really, honestly am seeking first the kingdom of God with all my heart then I really have no reason to worry at all. In other words, whether I am accepted, denied or deferred, I have no reason to worry. Whether I have to wait 2 days, 2 months or 2 years, I have no reason to worry because I trust that God's watch is right. Whether I am fed today or not, whether I have clothes today or not, whether I have an education or not, there is never a reason to be anxious or to fret because I have found Jesus. It's a hard concept to live out but that's how faith is. Our faith should be in Jesus and in Him alone because He is our King and He is all.
"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself."
For the longest time I thought that this meant that if I worked hard for God or if I was "poor for Jesus" he'd whip out his wallet and pass out everything I need and more. I would then say, "thanks sugar daddy!" and run off. See, as a culture, we're generally spoiled brats and we're like teenage kids who expect what we want when we want it. But, instead of having a daddy that caters to our materialistic desires we have a Father who says, "Why do you search for answers when I am the answer? Why do you search to be filled when I will overflow your cup? Why do you want more when I am all you need?" Obviously, I didn't understand this then so I got discouraged when my expectations were not met. I was too focused on what I would get out of this "seeking first" deal.
I eventually came to realize that if I really, honestly am seeking first the kingdom of God with all my heart then I really have no reason to worry at all. In other words, whether I am accepted, denied or deferred, I have no reason to worry. Whether I have to wait 2 days, 2 months or 2 years, I have no reason to worry because I trust that God's watch is right. Whether I am fed today or not, whether I have clothes today or not, whether I have an education or not, there is never a reason to be anxious or to fret because I have found Jesus. It's a hard concept to live out but that's how faith is. Our faith should be in Jesus and in Him alone because He is our King and He is all.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
sleeping like i'm not and praying like i'm hot...
Yesterday, I had the revelation that I would be a really screwed up guy if I had never found Jesus. I believe that's true.
It was 4 a.m. before I got any sleep. Between the squeaking of the bed, the buzzing of mosquitoes, the itching and scratching of the evidence left from mosquitoes past, and the warmth of a typical night in Grenada, I couldn't find the time to fall asleep. I've never been so frustrated in search for some shut-eye as I was last night. After much tossing and turning, at 3 a.m. I finally popped up in rage, clicked a light on and waited until I could spot and crush the pesky mosquitoes that were haunting my bed. When I saw the first, I was so mad that my arm snapped out like a snake attack and my hand chomped the thing, first try. You can't understand how good it felt. I eventually, smashed the other two with the same speed and agility that was used against the first. Then I took a shower and fell asleep when arrived back in bed. (To Grenada's credit this is the first bad night of my time here and it makes for a good, miserable memory.)
As I lay nearly naked on a mattress on the floor I reflected on my last couple of hours. Then I prayed. I prayed the usual stuff before I moved to thanking God that I was not as screwed up as I could possibly be. Hmm...What the heck? Why would I pray that? Right away I was disturbed with what just came out of my mouth as I talked to the Creator of the universe. It clicked in my mind that I was praying the same prayer as a Pharisee in a parable told by Jesus in Luke 18. This was his prayer: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.' Wow, I just don't know. I read the tax-collector's prayer: 'God, be merciful to me, the sinner!' Beating his breast and unwilling to lift his eyes towards heaven, King Jesus said that this humble man would be exalted.
Now, I believe that it is good to offer prayers of thanksgiving towards God. However, my prayer and the Pharisee's were proud prayers of gratitude like saying, "Thanks God for making me awesome and better than all the guys who aren't as awesome as me!" For me to ever think of myself as above any other is not only ignorant but very proud of me. So the question must be asked, what is the difference between a humble prayer of gratitude and one full of pride?
It's a common habit for Americans to thank God that they were born in the U.S. when they hear stories of war or famine affecting other countries. If you've ever talked to someone who went on a missions trip to a place filled with poverty, you may have heard something like, Wow, I just thank God that I was born in this great country! But do we really think that God likes us better and chose us to live in circumstances that would better our chances of becoming "less screwed up" than others? I don't know.
See, I don't think it's wrong to thank God for these things but I do think it should be much more of a priority to thank God for his endless mercies and grace showered over our disgustingly sinful souls. So, maybe we haven't realized who we really are. Or, maybe we haven't realized who God really is. Either way, my conclusion is this: Whether you're an American, Ugandan, Iraqi, Afghanistanian, democrat, republican, independent, homosexual, heterosexual, tax-collector, Pharisee, prostitute, president, murderer, lover, hater, pedophile, masturbater, luster, man, woman, pastor, adult, teenager or kid we're all really screwed up, we are all sinners and we all desperately need grace through Christ. Personally, I have been blessed with much therefore I have much to be grateful for but a true humble prayer of gratitude is as the tax-collector prayed. So, when we truly come to terms with the reality that we are indeed wretched sinners, nothing else really matters but grace.
It was 4 a.m. before I got any sleep. Between the squeaking of the bed, the buzzing of mosquitoes, the itching and scratching of the evidence left from mosquitoes past, and the warmth of a typical night in Grenada, I couldn't find the time to fall asleep. I've never been so frustrated in search for some shut-eye as I was last night. After much tossing and turning, at 3 a.m. I finally popped up in rage, clicked a light on and waited until I could spot and crush the pesky mosquitoes that were haunting my bed. When I saw the first, I was so mad that my arm snapped out like a snake attack and my hand chomped the thing, first try. You can't understand how good it felt. I eventually, smashed the other two with the same speed and agility that was used against the first. Then I took a shower and fell asleep when arrived back in bed. (To Grenada's credit this is the first bad night of my time here and it makes for a good, miserable memory.)
As I lay nearly naked on a mattress on the floor I reflected on my last couple of hours. Then I prayed. I prayed the usual stuff before I moved to thanking God that I was not as screwed up as I could possibly be. Hmm...What the heck? Why would I pray that? Right away I was disturbed with what just came out of my mouth as I talked to the Creator of the universe. It clicked in my mind that I was praying the same prayer as a Pharisee in a parable told by Jesus in Luke 18. This was his prayer: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.' Wow, I just don't know. I read the tax-collector's prayer: 'God, be merciful to me, the sinner!' Beating his breast and unwilling to lift his eyes towards heaven, King Jesus said that this humble man would be exalted.
Now, I believe that it is good to offer prayers of thanksgiving towards God. However, my prayer and the Pharisee's were proud prayers of gratitude like saying, "Thanks God for making me awesome and better than all the guys who aren't as awesome as me!" For me to ever think of myself as above any other is not only ignorant but very proud of me. So the question must be asked, what is the difference between a humble prayer of gratitude and one full of pride?
It's a common habit for Americans to thank God that they were born in the U.S. when they hear stories of war or famine affecting other countries. If you've ever talked to someone who went on a missions trip to a place filled with poverty, you may have heard something like, Wow, I just thank God that I was born in this great country! But do we really think that God likes us better and chose us to live in circumstances that would better our chances of becoming "less screwed up" than others? I don't know.
See, I don't think it's wrong to thank God for these things but I do think it should be much more of a priority to thank God for his endless mercies and grace showered over our disgustingly sinful souls. So, maybe we haven't realized who we really are. Or, maybe we haven't realized who God really is. Either way, my conclusion is this: Whether you're an American, Ugandan, Iraqi, Afghanistanian, democrat, republican, independent, homosexual, heterosexual, tax-collector, Pharisee, prostitute, president, murderer, lover, hater, pedophile, masturbater, luster, man, woman, pastor, adult, teenager or kid we're all really screwed up, we are all sinners and we all desperately need grace through Christ. Personally, I have been blessed with much therefore I have much to be grateful for but a true humble prayer of gratitude is as the tax-collector prayed. So, when we truly come to terms with the reality that we are indeed wretched sinners, nothing else really matters but grace.
Friday, January 23, 2009
naked in a coffee shop
I love to watch people. So when I'm sitting in a coffee shop and an interesting person sits right in front of me, I am happy when he sips his oddly green smoothie, sets it down and stares at it for a moment before he continues with his work. This is one of the reasons I love coffee shops so much and was so excited to finally have an opportunity to sit and sip a Chai Latte in a coffee shop in Grenada.
As I waste time on Facebook in Rituals' Coffee I set my status to the following: "Doug wants to be naked and OK with it." Now, any person with a full functioning head would quite possibly be intrigued by this statement. Why would Doug want to take off his clothes in the middle of Rituals' Coffee? And why would Doug be OK with that?
If you know me, I think you may have picked up that sometimes I have interesting ways of organizing or expressing my thoughts. If you don't know me or did not know that about me then please note this as an example. Please further note that I do not literally want to be physically nude right now nor do I ever desire nakedness in public places. However, it's true that I would like to be content if I was stripped naked. And as we've previously established, the average person would raise a brow to this statement but for myself, I think of Job when he said something similar,
"Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked I will depart. The Lord gives and takes away, may the name of the Lord be praised."
This is one of my favorite verses. I came to this earth with squat, I am blessed to have a lot, but when I die, what do I got? (I just made that crappy rhyme up.) I want to be content if and when I am stripped of everything and everyone I love. Not just content but even encouraged to grow, praising God and constantly expressing an unaffected joy despite my losses. Being in Grenada has shown me that I have depended too much on other people. I learn from other people, I grow with other people, I help other people with other people, I'm held accountable, I'm encouraged to pray and read by other people. Community is amazing and is a true blessing when you've found it but I think that, possibly, the emerging church culture can put too much emphasis on community. Among the spiritual disciplines, community has been raised to the top of the church's priorities. But, I think that every spiritual discipline is equally very important. For example, if we think prayer is more important than scripture-reading then we pray to a God we don't know. If we prefer scripture-reading over prayer, then we gain the head knowledge but our heart is not completely in it. Likewise, if we put community above the rest then we don't know what to do when we're left alone. These disciplines must be balanced.
A healthy balance of community, prayer, reading, worship and service is essential to having a healthy, life-changing relationship with Christ as well as being affective in ministry. Missions involves loneliness and until you're prepared to transform your loneliness into solitude (as Henri Nouwen puts it) I don't think you're ready.
Like many other Christians, I put too much emphasis on community. I grew very much back in Lansing with an amazing group of brothers and sisters in Christ that I have been blessed with. But too much depended on them so when they were gone...I was spiritually lost. If I were more balanced and read the scriptures more by myself or prayed more by myself or served more by myself then I would be more prepared for going by myself to a different place and culture.
I thought I was ready to drop everything to follow Christ until I realized that that meant leaving an encouraging and comfortable community behind. hmm...
As I waste time on Facebook in Rituals' Coffee I set my status to the following: "Doug wants to be naked and OK with it." Now, any person with a full functioning head would quite possibly be intrigued by this statement. Why would Doug want to take off his clothes in the middle of Rituals' Coffee? And why would Doug be OK with that?
If you know me, I think you may have picked up that sometimes I have interesting ways of organizing or expressing my thoughts. If you don't know me or did not know that about me then please note this as an example. Please further note that I do not literally want to be physically nude right now nor do I ever desire nakedness in public places. However, it's true that I would like to be content if I was stripped naked. And as we've previously established, the average person would raise a brow to this statement but for myself, I think of Job when he said something similar,
"Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked I will depart. The Lord gives and takes away, may the name of the Lord be praised."
This is one of my favorite verses. I came to this earth with squat, I am blessed to have a lot, but when I die, what do I got? (I just made that crappy rhyme up.) I want to be content if and when I am stripped of everything and everyone I love. Not just content but even encouraged to grow, praising God and constantly expressing an unaffected joy despite my losses. Being in Grenada has shown me that I have depended too much on other people. I learn from other people, I grow with other people, I help other people with other people, I'm held accountable, I'm encouraged to pray and read by other people. Community is amazing and is a true blessing when you've found it but I think that, possibly, the emerging church culture can put too much emphasis on community. Among the spiritual disciplines, community has been raised to the top of the church's priorities. But, I think that every spiritual discipline is equally very important. For example, if we think prayer is more important than scripture-reading then we pray to a God we don't know. If we prefer scripture-reading over prayer, then we gain the head knowledge but our heart is not completely in it. Likewise, if we put community above the rest then we don't know what to do when we're left alone. These disciplines must be balanced.
A healthy balance of community, prayer, reading, worship and service is essential to having a healthy, life-changing relationship with Christ as well as being affective in ministry. Missions involves loneliness and until you're prepared to transform your loneliness into solitude (as Henri Nouwen puts it) I don't think you're ready.
Like many other Christians, I put too much emphasis on community. I grew very much back in Lansing with an amazing group of brothers and sisters in Christ that I have been blessed with. But too much depended on them so when they were gone...I was spiritually lost. If I were more balanced and read the scriptures more by myself or prayed more by myself or served more by myself then I would be more prepared for going by myself to a different place and culture.
I thought I was ready to drop everything to follow Christ until I realized that that meant leaving an encouraging and comfortable community behind. hmm...
Thursday, January 22, 2009
questions have come up...
So, I've been working with the work team for the past few days. They are very cool guys and I enjoy spending time with them. However, there just isn't enough work for all of us. Maybe its just bad communication but it is extremely frustrating to stand around waiting for someone to tell you to fetch a level.
Recently, I focused my time on the kids when they're on their breaks and painting a sign, so it's been better.
I'm having an absolutely wonderful time in Grenada but I've not spiritually grown in the way that I was hoping I would. Questions have come up. How can I be a missionary in a completely different culture and place when my faith seems to be so affected by the community or lack of community around me? How can I leave everyone and everything behind to follow Christ when the only time I seem to follow Christ is when I have everyone and everything? Why am I not motivated to read or pray?
I want to depend on Christ alone...
Recently, I focused my time on the kids when they're on their breaks and painting a sign, so it's been better.
I'm having an absolutely wonderful time in Grenada but I've not spiritually grown in the way that I was hoping I would. Questions have come up. How can I be a missionary in a completely different culture and place when my faith seems to be so affected by the community or lack of community around me? How can I leave everyone and everything behind to follow Christ when the only time I seem to follow Christ is when I have everyone and everything? Why am I not motivated to read or pray?
I want to depend on Christ alone...
never say never
so, this "25 random things about you" crap has been flying around. i never do this. but as someone said before a lot of other people started saying it, "never say never."
1. I really do love Jesus.
2. Music and mission work constantly battle over my future.
3. You probably don't understand.
4. Maybe I don't.
5. I love really friendly people.
6. I try hard to be that really friendly person.
7. It's hard sometimes.
8. I don't understand a lot of things.
9. I get overwhelmed by all I know I can learn and all that I want to learn.
10. I am constantly on the offense when it comes to writing songs.
11. I like hanging out with kids.
12. One reason is because sometimes I'd rather not be around adults.
13. They're too complex.
14. Sometimes, I would just rather play my guitar.
15. I honestly only play my own music.
16. I'm not stuck-up, I'd rather create than duplicate.
17. I just made up that rhyme.
18. I think rhyming encourages creativity and thought.
19. I can't figure out how to flush this toilet.
20. I easily feel like I'm wasting time.
21. People with passion inspire me.
22. I refresh my e-mail account at least 10 times a day.
23. Every time I do crap like this I ask myself "why?" as I type.
24. I don't know if I am a Christian artist or an artist that professes Christ as Lord and Savior.
25. Again, you probably don't understand.
1. I really do love Jesus.
2. Music and mission work constantly battle over my future.
3. You probably don't understand.
4. Maybe I don't.
5. I love really friendly people.
6. I try hard to be that really friendly person.
7. It's hard sometimes.
8. I don't understand a lot of things.
9. I get overwhelmed by all I know I can learn and all that I want to learn.
10. I am constantly on the offense when it comes to writing songs.
11. I like hanging out with kids.
12. One reason is because sometimes I'd rather not be around adults.
13. They're too complex.
14. Sometimes, I would just rather play my guitar.
15. I honestly only play my own music.
16. I'm not stuck-up, I'd rather create than duplicate.
17. I just made up that rhyme.
18. I think rhyming encourages creativity and thought.
19. I can't figure out how to flush this toilet.
20. I easily feel like I'm wasting time.
21. People with passion inspire me.
22. I refresh my e-mail account at least 10 times a day.
23. Every time I do crap like this I ask myself "why?" as I type.
24. I don't know if I am a Christian artist or an artist that professes Christ as Lord and Savior.
25. Again, you probably don't understand.
Monday, January 19, 2009
some slow days...
Hello. Not much exciting has happened these past few days. Tonight the work team comes from Utah or something to lay cement (if you lay it) at the school property. Right now, three of the school rooms lack a ceiling. Needless to say they are currently unusable until the end of the week. We spent the bulk of today preparing for their arrival and we'll pick them up tonight. Anyway, I'm excited to have them show up. It will be great to have the opportunity to work with them throughout this next week and get to know them.
Also, tonight I was walking out of the grocery store and my sunglasses fell. Before I realized it a guy handed them to me. When I turned around to retrieve them I noticed a Grenadian college student I had met while playing soccer the beach about a week ago. It was one of those things where he was walking and I was caught off-guard so I didn't get a chance to talk to him. I hate when weird things like that happen. But, we acknowledged each other with a smile and the universal man nod. Anyway, when I had talked to him before he had invited me to play soccer with him and some other guys on Sundays. I've not been able to show up yet but I'm very much looking forward to the time that I have a chance. I really hope to play some more soccer here. I love soccer. One of the things I love about it is that it is such a widely appreciated sport. I think it's the most popular in the world. It is such a blessing to be able to connect with people of different cultures and sometimes different languages through a mutual love for the game. My uncle also mentioned that I might be able to instruct a soccer clinic on Fridays with the kids from his primary school. So, we'll see how that turns out but I love to use the abilities I've been blessed with to bless others so I am all for it.
Other than that, I started a new song which is always exciting for me.
If you're the praying type please pray for my spiritual growth here and for opportunities for me to really get to know people.
Also, tonight I was walking out of the grocery store and my sunglasses fell. Before I realized it a guy handed them to me. When I turned around to retrieve them I noticed a Grenadian college student I had met while playing soccer the beach about a week ago. It was one of those things where he was walking and I was caught off-guard so I didn't get a chance to talk to him. I hate when weird things like that happen. But, we acknowledged each other with a smile and the universal man nod. Anyway, when I had talked to him before he had invited me to play soccer with him and some other guys on Sundays. I've not been able to show up yet but I'm very much looking forward to the time that I have a chance. I really hope to play some more soccer here. I love soccer. One of the things I love about it is that it is such a widely appreciated sport. I think it's the most popular in the world. It is such a blessing to be able to connect with people of different cultures and sometimes different languages through a mutual love for the game. My uncle also mentioned that I might be able to instruct a soccer clinic on Fridays with the kids from his primary school. So, we'll see how that turns out but I love to use the abilities I've been blessed with to bless others so I am all for it.
Other than that, I started a new song which is always exciting for me.
If you're the praying type please pray for my spiritual growth here and for opportunities for me to really get to know people.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Jesus in a Christian School
Recently, as I have considered my future I have put a great amount of thought into the possibility of striving to become a Christian school Bible teacher. My ideal career would be to teach in the States for a few years and eventually go abroad. Anyway, coming from a Christian school myself, I have developed many thoughts on how it is constructed. I also get some interesting reactions from my fellow alumni for desiring this career. The question could be asked, why would I want to teach Bible where it overwhelms the students multiple times a day and multiple days a week? Here are my thoughts:
1. Against common assumption, not all Christian school attenders follow Christ much less believe in their hearts that He is Lord. They need Jesus.
2. Many if not most of the students don't truly know what it means to follow Christ. This is what I call ignorance. I realize that by saying this I take the risk of coming across as if I know what it truly means to follow Christ. However, I don't believe ignorance is black and white. We all run back and forth on a scale of ignorance. My point is that when Christ calls us He calls us to come and die, He calls us to be passionate. He calls us to lay aside everything, pick up our crosses and follow Him to a spiritual and, at times, a physical death. Students may hear this without fully understanding it because it is so easy to remain oblivious to the chains and the deaths of our brothers and sisters in Christ that are happening right now. An estimated 160,000 Christians are martyred a year, just read the countless stories on persecution.com or christianpersecution.info. Right now, people are literally passionately following Christ to the death. I have come to understand this to a point but I remain ignorant because I have not shared their chains nor experienced their pain. I am not saying that to truly follow Christ you need to go physically die a bloody death, that is legalism. But I am saying that there is a radical faith and love to Christianity that can be hidden through a Christian school education. Instead of presenting Christianity as merely a religion or a safety net it should be presented through stories of passion including the most passionate one of all.
3. Continuing on the topic of ignorance, I believe teenagers can be unaware of the need for Jesus in the world. People we know personally and people we'll never meet are dying inside and out. Currently, we are unaware of each others' secret emotional pains and we can easily remain oblivious to the physical pains of the world. So, it is no surprise that many don't seem to care about people's spiritual needs seeing that there seems to be a lack of passion for taking care of others' physical needs.
4. A friend of mine pointed out to me that the Bible is presented as a textbook. I agree with this statement. The Word is a sword, it is living and active and we must learn how to use it before we cause harm
So those are some thoughts. They may be slightly disorganized but that's because I'm in a hot room and it's almost 1 o'clock in the morning. Anyway, Christian schooling is a very unique ministry that I would love to be a part of. I hope to continue learning and growing so that I'm not as much of a hypocrite when I teach. Pretty much, I hope to bring awareness to the passionate death that we are called to and the full life that it brings and I can't do it without Christ in me. After all, Christ said in John 10:10, "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." If you read all of this...i hope it made sense.
1. Against common assumption, not all Christian school attenders follow Christ much less believe in their hearts that He is Lord. They need Jesus.
2. Many if not most of the students don't truly know what it means to follow Christ. This is what I call ignorance. I realize that by saying this I take the risk of coming across as if I know what it truly means to follow Christ. However, I don't believe ignorance is black and white. We all run back and forth on a scale of ignorance. My point is that when Christ calls us He calls us to come and die, He calls us to be passionate. He calls us to lay aside everything, pick up our crosses and follow Him to a spiritual and, at times, a physical death. Students may hear this without fully understanding it because it is so easy to remain oblivious to the chains and the deaths of our brothers and sisters in Christ that are happening right now. An estimated 160,000 Christians are martyred a year, just read the countless stories on persecution.com or christianpersecution.info. Right now, people are literally passionately following Christ to the death. I have come to understand this to a point but I remain ignorant because I have not shared their chains nor experienced their pain. I am not saying that to truly follow Christ you need to go physically die a bloody death, that is legalism. But I am saying that there is a radical faith and love to Christianity that can be hidden through a Christian school education. Instead of presenting Christianity as merely a religion or a safety net it should be presented through stories of passion including the most passionate one of all.
3. Continuing on the topic of ignorance, I believe teenagers can be unaware of the need for Jesus in the world. People we know personally and people we'll never meet are dying inside and out. Currently, we are unaware of each others' secret emotional pains and we can easily remain oblivious to the physical pains of the world. So, it is no surprise that many don't seem to care about people's spiritual needs seeing that there seems to be a lack of passion for taking care of others' physical needs.
4. A friend of mine pointed out to me that the Bible is presented as a textbook. I agree with this statement. The Word is a sword, it is living and active and we must learn how to use it before we cause harm
So those are some thoughts. They may be slightly disorganized but that's because I'm in a hot room and it's almost 1 o'clock in the morning. Anyway, Christian schooling is a very unique ministry that I would love to be a part of. I hope to continue learning and growing so that I'm not as much of a hypocrite when I teach. Pretty much, I hope to bring awareness to the passionate death that we are called to and the full life that it brings and I can't do it without Christ in me. After all, Christ said in John 10:10, "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." If you read all of this...i hope it made sense.
Friday, January 16, 2009
comparing the arts
Before my aunt left for a funeral she supplied me with paint, brushes and a canvas. I started painting for the first time since my senior year of high school. Well, that was three years ago and if it weren't for me being artistically minded, I would've called it a disaster. However, because I am artistically minded, I realize that patience is key. I've learned quite a bit in my time as a singer/song-writer and it is natural for me to compare my visual art to my experience in the art of song composition. Having said that, I've decided to take the angle I take in the creating of my music to the painting of my visual art. In writing songs, I try to sit with my guitar and write everyday. I will often sing small phrases or hum various tunes before a true musical and lyrical expression of myself will naturally flow out of my being. I like to believe that if it weren't for my many failed attempts, I would not have the ability to create something honest and beautiful in the end. With this in mind, I will paint. I know I can paint though, right now it may seem as if I cannot just as I know I am able to write songs though at times it may seem as if I were not. So, I will continue to create and eventually, I will produce something honest and beautiful.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Istra 4 Christ
Istra had a part in the starting of a Grenadian mission team called All 4 Christ. As she worked behind the desk at my aunt and uncle's bookstore, Art & Soul Books, she shared with me the brief history and summary of All 4 Christ. Her and a group of Grenadians went on a missions trip along side a group of Jamaicans to Northern Ireland this past summer. Since returning to Grenada, they formed this non-denominational group that would joyfully offer their service to the community in their homeland. It has become a group of 20 to 30 young people and though they are all from different religious backgrounds, each one is devoted to loving God and loving people.
Istra told me about their first project. This past Christmas, they packed a truck full of bags of food and distributed them to people in need throughout the country. Her smile was constant as she continued to share what God had been doing through this group and invited me to their weekly meeting. I plan to attend. I am excited to have met Istra and hear her involvement in this ministry as well as the opportunity to join my brothers and sisters in All 4 Christ-Grenada. Check out their youtube video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsVgWqY7DaA
Istra told me about their first project. This past Christmas, they packed a truck full of bags of food and distributed them to people in need throughout the country. Her smile was constant as she continued to share what God had been doing through this group and invited me to their weekly meeting. I plan to attend. I am excited to have met Istra and hear her involvement in this ministry as well as the opportunity to join my brothers and sisters in All 4 Christ-Grenada. Check out their youtube video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsVgWqY7DaA
Monday, January 12, 2009
these are my hopes...
As the extended family packs up and heads home, I pack up and head towards a more independent life on the island of Grenada. The city of St. Paul holds the home of my Aunt Susan and Uncle Reuben. Their home holds me. So now, I am in the place between a wide eyed tourist and a wide eyed student. In other words, I spent a week lounging and soon, I will be here to learn and work for five weeks. So, whether you have asked or not I will now answer the question of why I am excited to take this trip. These are my hopes:
1. First and foremost, I want to better understand Christ. I want to continue learning what it means to love Christ and love people. I want to grow in wisdom and discipline.
2. I want to learn and grow through experience on the mission field. I'll be working with a work team next week and I will have many other opportunities as well.
3. I want to learn and grow through experience as a creative artist. I am always looking for opportunities to grow as a songwriter and a musician but here I want to exceed in visual art. My Aunt Susan is a well known artist in the Caribbean and I am blessed to have the opportunity to learn from her. She is excited to have me here so that I can be her gopher and I'm just hoping that I can be a gopher that gets the chance to paint. Either way, I will learn a lot and it will be a huge blessing. I've already learned how to stretch canvases.
4. Lastly, I want to grow in these four disciplines:
a. community
b. prayer
c. reading
d. serving
Staying here for six weeks is an amazing opportunity I have been blessed with. I am convinced that I will learn and grow very much. Please pray for me as i am here.
1. First and foremost, I want to better understand Christ. I want to continue learning what it means to love Christ and love people. I want to grow in wisdom and discipline.
2. I want to learn and grow through experience on the mission field. I'll be working with a work team next week and I will have many other opportunities as well.
3. I want to learn and grow through experience as a creative artist. I am always looking for opportunities to grow as a songwriter and a musician but here I want to exceed in visual art. My Aunt Susan is a well known artist in the Caribbean and I am blessed to have the opportunity to learn from her. She is excited to have me here so that I can be her gopher and I'm just hoping that I can be a gopher that gets the chance to paint. Either way, I will learn a lot and it will be a huge blessing. I've already learned how to stretch canvases.
4. Lastly, I want to grow in these four disciplines:
a. community
b. prayer
c. reading
d. serving
Staying here for six weeks is an amazing opportunity I have been blessed with. I am convinced that I will learn and grow very much. Please pray for me as i am here.
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